The return to Anya was a pause in the work week. Marilen Gonzalez-Elizalde was conducting a two-day Crossroads to Wellness session at the luxury resort in Tagaytay. The prospect of relaxing in cooler climes, indulging in fine gastronomy and yielding to the skilled therapists at the Niyama spa were incentives for an immediate sign-up.

However, activities and appointments leading up to the two-day event threatened to encroach on the anticipated respite. It was only the morning when I settled into the backseat of the car that the resolve to take a break won over the stress of never-ending things to get done.

Marilen’s opening words, “We are the sum of the choices we make,” was like poetry to my soul. “Each decision we make contributes to the person we become, and by choosing to prioritize our well-being, we are taking a significant step toward a healthier, happier life.”

The holistic wellness specialist, who also practices and teaches yoga, presented five pillars of health built on the foundation of relationships. She referenced author and Harvard Medical School director of the Center for Psychodynamic Therapy Robert Waldinger, who said that social connections are most important for our well-being. The American author and professor said in his much-viewed TED talk that social connections are better for our health. Conducting the longest study on happiness together with clinical psychologist Mark Schulz, he pronounced that good relationships protect our bodies and make people happier.

Marilen continued, “We have relationships with ourselves, our partners, colleagues, friends, family and other people. Our relationships can be positive or negative. We need to love everyone but should cultivate the relationships that encourage us toward well-being.”

This encompasses the physical, mental and emotional states. She defined wellness as the act of practicing healthy habits on a daily basis to attain better physical and mental health outcomes. “Instead of just surviving, we thrive.”

Dancing to health

An aromatherapy enthusiast who mixes her own essences, Marilen mentioned the healing properties of plants. She applies lavender oil to the back of her neck to destress and frankincense to help with sleep and inflammation, and prepared a rejuvenating oxygen inhaler for the participants.

The yogini identified five essential mainstays toward achieving optimal health. Movement, she postured, benefits the 600 muscles in the body. Muscles comprise 40 percent of the body, and activating these regularly and responsibly helps the body function more efficiently. Both Marilen and Dr. JP Prado endorsed dancing as a movement activity. Yoga, Pilates, stretching and weight training were also mentioned.

The second pillar mentioned was nutrition in conjunction with diet. Whole foods and nonprocessed foods were given the thumbs up. The biggest culprit cited was sugar. “It’s enemy number one.”

Fasting was also endorsed, not just to promote weight loss but also to improve blood pressure and brain function. One benefit for women, particularly for those who want to conceive, was that “estrogen loves fasting.” Marilen said, “Women need estrogen to release their eggs.”

Sleep was the third pillar, with seven to eight hours as the prescribed length of time. Having a darkened room with a temperature between 20 and 25 degrees Celsius can aid in achieving deep sleep. “The darkness message conveyed to the photo receptors in the eyes enable the body to sleep.”

Dr. JP picked up the importance of sleep in his later presentation and gave practical advise like using warm, indirect light in the bathroom to avoid being completely roused during nocturnal visits to answer nature’s call. He endorsed motion-activated lights to extend quality sleep. He said magnesium was good for promoting deep sleep. Those who sleep in air-conditioned rooms would do well to have a humidifier to counter the dry air being circulated. Much data had already impressed the importance of a good night’s rest. What came as a mild surprise was that lack of sleep could cause weight gain.Walking barefoot

Thoughts have a lot to do with the body’s condition. Emotional well being was cited as the fourth pillar. Marilen explained that what we think and feel can translate into bodily conditions. “We are not taught how to relax,” she said. Stress, anxiety, tension can be countered by going outside, being close to nature, walking on the grass without shoes. A strong immune system counters the risk of germs from walking barefoot.

Self-care is important and these can mean having soothing massages, meditating and journaling. “Taking care of yourself is important so you can take better care of others,” she said with emphasis. “Sometimes, we need to learn to say no when we are overextended.”

Her last pillar was spirituality. “Recognizing a Being greater than us, who nurtures and cares for us, gives us inner strength,” she said. “This gives us purpose and accountability.”

Dr. JP‘s session situated wellness within a medical framework. He talked about some of the consequences of neglecting healthy living, such as diabetes, hypertension, cancer, dementia, chronic hyperacidity, autoimmune disease and metabolic syndrome.

Speaking in layman’s language, he explained how wellness can start from illness and that genetics need not determine the course of our mortality. “Disease is not 100-percent hereditary,” he said. “We can make choices that can change the way our body responds to our DNA.”

‘Tao of REN’

He coined the “Tao of REN,” an acronym for recovery, exercise and nutrition, indicating the benefits of simple things like listening to soothing music, which can reduce stress.

“Sound is a human being’s first interaction with the world, the voice of the parents reaching the womb or the symphony they play for the unborn baby.”

He emphasized flexibility training as much as active recovery or giving the body time to rest and heal after the exertion. “Pain is not a bad thing,” he stated. “It’s a friend used by the body to communicate a condition. If we work out for an hour, the body needs two hours to recover.”

Drawing from his personal habits, he endorsed following a screen time budget, like setting a maximum of three hours a day for his devices. He limits recreational viewing to one movie a day or three episodes of a series and is selective in media consumption, opting for what is positive. He also recommends tuning out from phones and laptops three hours before bedtime to achieve sleep quality.

“Sleep is needed because the heart needs to rest to repair and this happens during sleep. Unlike other muscles, the heart is a muscle that just keeps going.”

There was much shared in the two days. New knowledge was added to what was previously known, which reinforced a resolve to be more mindful in being a better steward of my body and mind. Marilen’s postscript wrapped up the experience when she wrote in her own hand: “Embrace the journey with gratitude, knowing that each step you take toward wellness is a profound act of self-love. You are worth every ounce of care and attention you give yourself. Keep nourishing your mind, body and soul—you’re building a foundation of strength and resilience that will carry you through life’s highs and lows.”